So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
