I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
