How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
