You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
