Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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