I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
