Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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