also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
