This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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