so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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