dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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