i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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