I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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