I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
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Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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