party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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