i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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