Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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