didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
