why didn't you poke me back
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
