I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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