That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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