Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
