I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's shark week go big or go home
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
