I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
