Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
