get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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