Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
