If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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