no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Everything about him screamed your future.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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