I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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