Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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