Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
