After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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