i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
