1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
and she was petting her beer can
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
