Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
