i'm signing you up for texting rehab
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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