Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
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Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We left the knife in your bed.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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