I CAN MOONWALK!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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