I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
