Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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