me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
