So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
