Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
