we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize