Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
