Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
