tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
and she was petting her beer can
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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