I wanna passion pit in your ass
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
