After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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