I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
