I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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