Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
