he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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