Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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