No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I got inside last night via doggy door
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
