Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
