So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
