You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
