my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
